SC Is Stealin All The Good Ones

I miss you already
and although you haven't yet left
it feels like you've been gone forever
I know that our friendship
can withstand these 3000 miles
but still the test is hard
I never realized how
alone I was in this
until you went away
you're the only one
that understands
Her
Me
what we went through

you saw her in assisted living
in the nursing homes
in the hospital
in ashes
floating on the water
I wonder if she ever sank?

I sit at night thinking
constantly
my head keeps me awake
while my body begs for rest
I want to call you
but you're three hours ahead
in time
in life
in healing

I feel like a kid again
without direction or purpose
the weight has been lifted
but where does that leave me
I identified with it
it's who I was
it allowed me to step back
to set myself apart
to see the world through hallowed eyes

I don't wish for it to be different
then I wouldn't be me
then I would have no excuse
explanation
or use
for this state of sadness
that I seem to reside in
or for the loneliness
that wraps itself around me
like the soft blanket
made for a newborn

I don't know how to live
any other life
or be any other way

would we be friends without this?
our foundation is made of tears
broken pieces of our hearts
the strength of our persistence
to really feel loss
and know unfair circumstance

~ May 2005