New Year's Day

your birthday passed
like so many other
momentous occasions
and so many other
futile hours and minutes
that were given meaning
by your absence

I think of all the things
you've missed out on
and I missed you
being around for
I wanted your advice
and your pride
as selfish as that may be

I hope you're resting
I hope you're peaceful now
I even dare to hope that you're happy
I felt your soul leave
so I believe that it
exists and resides elsewhere
somewhere
other than this sometimes sad
confusing place
also known as life

so I will continue
to be hopeful
and continue to miss you
though I'm not naive enough
to believe that
time will erase
what I've lost in you