Basement Musings

It's weird to be
sucked in again
yet feel unaffected
I read old emails
combing over words
searching for clues
as if I don't understand
what happened
as if I wasn't there
as if I wasn't immersed
in this madness

I don't know where
this newest incantation
of you is going
and I'm not sure
how much I really care
I feel numb to the
onslaught of emotions
I'm sure are to come

I'm losing parts
of my heart -
my friends,
my sisters -
to the dark side
love, that is
and maybe you're just a bridge
to gap this bottomless
gorge of loneliness

my single friends
keep dwindling down
like my limited finances
soon I will look up
and be the only one left
a north star that they can
look upon
if they need to find
their ways back
to whatever it was
we thought we were doing.

~ December 2005