... and forgot I had even written it ...
i dreamt that i was
shrouded in a
golden glow
warmed from the inside out
rays reaching to you
as my mind
finally stilled
more peaceful
than i've been
in months
as the pieces of me
fell away
i can't sense you
you have moved on
fully and completely
do you still think of me
or is it true what they say
time is not real
and these years are but
the blink of an eye to you
you yawn
awoken from your
peaceful slumber
stretching your long
lanky, restored limbs
and stare at something beautiful
as i work day after day
and go through the motions
remembering you
honoring you
missing you
were we not solely connected
was i supposed to be yours
or was i born a fluke
the line that ties me to you
is getting thinner and thinner
you become more like a theory
a story of loss
the embodiment of
things that never came to fruition
a mother in disguise
i'm stuck
i don't know where to go
from here
and need you more
than i ever thought possible
i need to know your mistakes
so i don't go
traipsing through them
blindly
i need to memorize
your triumphs
so i can make repeat performances
and drink from the cup of wisdom
you held so tightly to your chest
the things that you taught me
that slipped pastmy stubborn defenses
may not have been
what you intended
to pass along
i seem to be taking
the bad more liberally
than the good
and can barely remember
where to go from here
~ February 23, 2006
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