5 Reasons

5 reasons I might just become the scary, insane lady on the block that lives alone and scares small children. Oh suburban living...

1) I just went outside in my undies and a tank top (its very hot and humid!) to yell "scram" at the neighborhood cats that like to make a habit of standing 2.5 inches away from one another in my front yard to have a meowing match while raising their hackles. Who the hell says "scram" anymore anyway except your poor, crazy, old Aunt Gertrude and the weird guy on the corner that sings into the handle of a used plunger to get passing cars to donate to his beer cause?

2) I have 3 cats and live alone ... and talk to them at times ... and talk to myself ... and have 3 cats and live alone.

3) When I think of something funny, regardless of where I am or what I'm doing, I will laugh out loud (usually tilting my head back in full lisa d style). Picture me sitting at my desk in the branch of a credit union in my smartest banker outfit. I'm seemingly typing and working diligently one moment and the next moment I'm laughing, lets face it cackling really, at nothing but the raucous images in my head.

4) When I find that I have accidentally walked through a discarded spider web and have a 6% chance of having a spider in my near vicinity I will do the full-on, freak out bug dance complete with spazzy, flailing body movements and high-pitched eeks of fear. (This usually happens right outside my door as I'm leaving for work almost everyday, and I still don't seem to catch on after all my repeat performances.)

5) While trying to start my lawn mower and tame my raging patch of land, I had one of my first temper tantrums since NKOTB broke up. This happened on a Sunday (holy resting day batman) in the afternoon while my neighbors were out. I kicked, I screamed, I pouted, and finally gave in. Damn red metal bastard!

To be continued ...