Another 5 ...

Why, oh why, was I born to be such a dork?

16) As I was reading a book at a coffee shop, by myself, it made me laugh so hard that I was practically wheezing. Making me even more attractive, one of my eyes almost shut while the other only squinted slightly. It's like my inner pirate comes out when I laugh. "Aargh, where's me eye patch, that was funny." And I think I scared the other coffee shop patrons. Is it bad when people scoot their chairs as far away from you as possible in public?

17) I read the encyclopedia as a child… for fun. I enjoyed it. I still read text books to learn, do crosswords to keep my brain active, and get super competitive at boggle to the point of yelling that my competitor's words are made-up and spelled wrong (when it's usually me that spells them wrong).

18) I slipped while walking to my car recently. I made a high-pitched whoooooo sound as my left leg skidded ahead out of control, my right arm flung itself up and threw my coffee in the air, and my left arm threw my keys. (Why I threw my keys, I have no idea.) Fortunately my car caught me before I went down, but did not spare me from the caffeine shower.

19) I dance in my living room and bedroom, on the hardwood floors, in my socks. No matter how many times I slip and fall and almost do the splits, which hurts really bad because I cannot, and have never been able to, do the splits, I still continue to shake what my momma gave me unabashedly and with full energy and exuberance. If I ever actually get caught doing this I will probably pass out from embarrassment, making the aforementioned whoooooo sound as I do so.

20) My bangs cowlick and stick up like little Macaulay Culkin in 'Home Alone.' This great look is enhanced by the fact that I obsessively pull them down with my fingers, separating them and making them increasingly statickey, which then makes them stick up even more. The fact that I write about my bangs and ongoing battle with them, in turn makes me an even bigger dork.