ennui

this numbness
is starting to wear me out
i haven’t felt a raw emotion
in some time
and am starting to
forget what to call
the majority of them
let alone experience
the havoc they reap

there are so many
with subtle differences
and flowery names
but ambivalence
ennui
apathy
are all i seem to feel

i like that word
ennui
it’s a snobby,
pretensions word
for boredom
and very exciting way
to name something that
is decidedly not

September 2006

Falling Leaves

All these words
all these letters
all this time gone by

the leaves are changing
and there you sit
sameness surrounding you
like a thick smoke

you are an evergreen
never changing
not really growing
stagnant
you have an archaic
sense of self-understanding
and a blinding bias
for your own analysis

there is so much you don’t know

where lessons are learned
you walk by
looking at your reflection
in the window
showing a you
that is shinier and more open
than the actual image it
represents

but
we are all like this
reflections of our true selves
representations of
our best foot
forward
hiding
mismatched socks
and holey toes
curled up inside

September 2006